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This Week on ‘Entourage’: Porn Scenes From an Italian Restaurant

Posted by Jon Wiener on September 1, 2010

Ari gets a call
He is visibly upset
He still answers it

I hope you all enjoyed my haiku.  Anybody who regularly watches Entourage knows that at least once per episode, Ari receives a call, sees who is calling, throws a silent tantrum, and then answers the call.  It’s Piven’s signature move…and it’s hilarious.

This week’s episode of Entourage, we get a little bit from each character…even Lloyd!

Vinnie Chase: Vince, like, TOTALLY loves Sasha Grey.  He loves her so much that he lobbies with the new Airwalker directer to get her a part in the film, just so that she won’t have to do a 5 on 1 gang bang in a new porn flick…with her ex-fiance.  Sasha, however, thinks he’s just saying that he loves her so that he can control her.  The only way to prove otherwise is for him to bang her in the men’s room at some fancy restaurant.  Also, he’s on drugs.

E: Vinnie isn’t happy with E, because of the constant “are you high?” comments.  We all know that he is – what’s the point in asking?  Johnny Drama is also unhappy with him because he keeps trying to get him to do Billy Walsh’s cartoon, Johnny’s Bananas.

Johnny Drama: Drama’s still on the fence about Johnny’s Bananas.  Apparently, all it takes is one pretty British assistant to say that she thinks the gorilla is cute to get him to agree.  What a putz.

Turtle: Turtle is on thin ice with the Avion Tequila people.  It’s a good thing he’s pulled a Seth Rogen and lost some weight or he would have fallen straight through.  Basically, he’s trying to arrange a deal with the owner of the Dallas Mavericks and Bob Odenkirk’s character so that Avion is the official tequila of the Mavs.  Also, they would pay Avion over $5 Million to open a bigger plant.  Apparently, the Avion people don’t want that and they don’t want Turtle fucking with their business.  Basically, Turtle may be offed soon.

Ari: Oy vey.  Ari’s been putting in some serious Gold-family time.  He even took them bowling at Lucky Strike (because real bowling alleys aren’t rich enough for him…or Richard Branson).  After dodging calls from nemesis, Amanda Daniels, he finally blows up at her at a fancy restaurant (while Vince and Sasha bang in the boys room).  It turns out she was calling to try to get him involved with her deal with the NFL – to bring a team to LA.  He blew that one!  Also, her (now former) assistant was the one who released the slanderous tapes of Ari.  So yeah, he’s a douche.

Lloyd: Lloyd found a huge bag of coke by Vince’s swimming pool.

Thus concludes the latest installment of the Entourage Family Theater.  Tune in next week!

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